I've been thinking what it is about Humankind that makes us put self generated hurdles in the way of our own success.
Something has caused me to think that, although I subscribe to the view that when we're ready for something the Universe will present it to us, sometimes when the Universe thinks we're ready we are all to quick to disagree.
Perhaps it's not the fear that we will fail but the fear that we will be successful that holds us back from trying new things until we're absolutely ready for the trials and tribulations (as well as the joys) that new experiences will bring.
Personally I'm a little guilty of, until recently, ruled out the prospect of even entertaining the idea of going on an extended theatrical tour. I've not actually said as much and I've even gladly thrown myself into the audition process for some high profile tours, but somewhere in the back of my mind has been the creeping, gnawing worry that God knows what I would do if I'd ever been lucky enough to be cast in one of them.
Being the human keeper of two cats I had, I thought, planned for the eventuality of going on tour in so much as I had lined up a variety of friends who had kindly agreed to either take the cats in as house guests or, perhaps with less disruption to themselves and the feline fellows, spend a lot of time at my home and care for the kitties there. In situ. However it's become obvious to me that this was not preparation. This was me creating an obstacle.
My thinking runs thus...
Brilliant tour job comes along:
I ace the audition naturally, and am perfect for the role;
I accept the job;
Then approach the cat keepers of choice and ask if it's all ok that they do indeed look after the furry critters.
That train of action can only have one of two outcomes. They either say Yes. Or No.
Previously I had convinced myself that I would ALWAYS be able to find someone to look after the cats and therefore I would never find myself in a position where their welfare would impact my working as an actor. It really was a wake up call this week when I realised that there are in fact people who are highly skilled in looking after cats when their owners are out of town. They are called catteries.
Now in order for me to square the whole process of putting my beloved boys in to what I at times have called a "Cat Prison" means I have to have a seismic shift in my thinking. About catteries, about what it is to "care" and about my job as an actor.
The only person responsible for my furthering my career is me. I enlist people I trust and value to help me along the way. People who I learn from (either formally like a brilliant singing teacher) or informally such as the person I see when I look in the mirror...
I know that this post is largely about cats, but if you've seen Jasper and Peluche you'd know they're not just "ordinary" cats! Still, the process of making them ready to be put in a cattery if necessary, and of making my brain accept that this is the right decision as it frees me up to do something I love, work, without punishing them as I had first thought, is a long and convoluted one. I have searched using the power of Google and have found a number of local catteries on the outskirts of London. I will go and visit any that take my fancy and I will try to determine their suitability to care for my precious pussycats.
Although I am not planning on putting them in a cattery in the immediate future, and I know that I will shed a tear when I do so for the first time, I have to be ready so that when that offer of a 3 month tour on Broadway materialises (or more realistically a 3 week tour of rural Wales) I am ready and have few obstacles in my path that I have not thought about and resolved.
This business is a business and like all businesses planning is key. The old adage "Fail to plan, plan to fail" comes to mind here. But in this case it's not that I am guilty of failing to plan it is just that my plans were unrealistic and unworkable. Who am I to build my career paths on the need to have others there to give me help when, if, I need it. I am me. I am responsible for me. And mine. And my career. And I won't martyr it on the alter of long held misconceptions or unrealistic expectations of others.
-------------------------------------
Of course if people have experience of housing their pets in a London or Home Counties cattery then please feel free to recommend or warn in the comments section!
No comments:
Post a Comment