Things are afoot in the land of Actorvist

As some of you, primarily those of you who follow me on Twitter, already know I've not been my usual self recently. I've been battling with a long drawn out period of depression which is somewhat at odds with my creative urges.

The depression not withstanding I've appeared in two plays this year and played a part in two feature films, one a very large budget, high profile franchise and the other a much more modest affair. I've also been thinking about writing a couple of ideas that have been bubbling away in my head for a while.

Well, whilst I've been doing all the above I've resorted to comfort eating.

My depression, when it descends upon me, makes me switch off from delicate little pleasures that one often can find in subtle flavoured foods and seek solace in the huge highs of sugary, or overly spicy, or savory foods. It's like my brain cries out for some kind of stimulation whereas my body needs no energy as I'm not really able to do anything but just function.

So, as I have been known to consume a whole M&S cheesecake in one sitting at times over these past six months I've inevitably put on a few extra pounds. Pounds that I am now determined to drop.

I know that this is nothing to do with acting per se but it is to do with this actor and as such I think it's important to share the highs and lows on here with you all. I stress that I am not looking for sympathy. If anything that would be counter productive, but I ask for your understanding if I am quiet at times, seemingly withdrawn perhaps. Trust me when I say my mind is working overtime analysing the minutia of what's going on around me and probably, misguidedly I admit, leaping to conclusions about who it impacts me.

Depression is not something I would ever trade in for anything else. It's a part of me and it is one I value. Usually it means that something I am doing is not in my best interests even though it seems like it is. It's a yardstick if you like. One to measure my own progress through Life against. OK so it can derail me from time to time but it is valuable and it does give me insight. The slow discovery of what is fundamentally against my own self interest, be it professionally or personally, might well take months but discover it I inevitably do. And this time it's taken almost a year I think but I have slowly had the realisation dawn on me that I am not supporting my acting endeavors to the best of my ability.

I have been guilty of allowing myself to become distracted by ephemera. By the idea of chasing Twitter followers perhaps, of thinking that if only that specific person came on board that specific project that I am involved with then I would suddenly be catapulted into the limelight. I've come to realise and to accept that the person responsible for how my career progresses is me. Just me. It's me that decides what roles to take. It's me that decides if I am prepared to work for nothing other than vague promises of future roles. It's me that has to schedule my time to allow further study and growth. Me. Nobody else. It is also a relatively recent discovery that it is only me that I have to satisfy. I don't have to fret about when I will perform in a "proper theatre" as my parents ask on a weekly basis. Nor do I have to worry about when my name will be above the title of a movie poster on huge billboards.

This is not a sprint. I may well be 45 years old but the time I spent as an economist before becoming an actor is not an impediment that has to be fought against. If anything it's a strength. I do not have to race to being acclaimed a rising star or anything of the sort. All I need to do is to continue to train, continue to stretch myself and above all else continue to remember that I love this business. I love the doubts and fears on stage. I love the camaraderie on a film set. The pressure of the rehearsal room. The tick, tick, tick on a film set when the light is fading and the DoP really doesn't have time to reset the lights to give more time to get the shot before the day wraps. I love it all.

Accepting that I do, and that that really is enough seems to quieten the voice that psychologists call the "Critical Parent" that lies within me as it does with in us all. That voice that says you're not working hard enough. Or suggests that if you haven't written your long awaited screenplay by now you never will. Or calls you fat. Well frankly that voice can go take a long walk off a short pier. I enjoy acting. I enjoy writing. And that's enough.

I know I'm rambling here (as I always do I hear you say!) and I want to wrap up soon so all I will say is that I am lucky. I know I am. I'm lucky enough to have had a greatly rewarding career before I turned to acting and I'm luckier still to have found a second one to follow. I have a great support network of family and friends. The person who hasn't been 100% supportive of me has recently been me. And that has now changed so be prepared to see a change in the me that you meet. I have silenced my own critical parent.

Onwards and upwards! And always, always, remembering how lucky I am.

I forgot to say how helpful one little book has been. And that book is this one... Sunbathing in the Rain by Gwyneth Lewis. It's a remarkable telling of her own journey through depression and out the other side.

The Importance of Art

I've been asked once or twice to address this mammoth topic so here goes. Art is important because it reflects life. All life.

There. That's it. In a nutshell that's why Art is important. And I do mean all art. From the beautifully designed and made greetings cards available in the shops to the prints of workmen high on a steel girder in New York available in IKEA, to the cutting edge of theatre via the most mainstream of cinema releases. And in a whole lot of other places I can't even begin to list here for fear of turning this post into a list of places that I can't list.

Personally speaking Art, and the creative industries as a whole, have provided me with escape and allowed me to walk a mile in the shoes of people who I don't know. Hell it's even done that in regard to animals too as I recall feeling every moment of Joey's life played out on stage in War Horse at the National Theatre.

Be it in book form, theatre, cinema or painting I can testify to being personally moved by the experience of seeing something that has sprung from the imagination of another. In fact at my lowest ever ebb I found myself in the National Gallery sitting in awe in front of the Leonardo Cartoon for about two hours. Utterly transfixed. Still, if I'm having a tough time of things emotionally I can often be found sitting in the little darkened room that contains, what I regard, as the highlight of the national collection.

This picture, officially known as the Burlington House Cartoon, but more usually referred to as the Leonardo Cartoon, never fails to move me when I see it. It's unfinished but still it has a perfection in its unfinished state that is beautiful. I know nothing about painting or drawing beyond a very basic understanding of the "magic triangle" but when I see this drawing I know the effect it has on me. It makes my heart soar. It lifts my spirits and it humbles me at the same time.

Being someone who experiences bouts of depression and anxiety at times, finding things, places, people, books, pictures etc, that can remind me of the beauty of Life and of the innate ability of Man to create is phenomenally important. It can't be stressed enough how much I owe to this particular picture.

Many years ago I was feeling so low I would rather have embraced death than faced life. I felt that I couldn't achieve anything of value and that whatever I attempted I would never be able to finish. Then I walked into the National Gallery and found this picture.

It resides behind glass in a little room all by itself near the top of the stairs in the Sainsbury Wing of the gallery. The room is dimly lit. One door in, one door out. One piece of art softly lit so as to accent the fine lines and shading drawn by a master of his craft. And it's not finished. Yet it's perfect. Feet and hands remain nothing other than crude outlines no better than that I could sketch now with a biro and the back of a shopping list. The faces however, and the folds of cloth are phenomenal. The serenity of the faces, the weight of the cloth as it drapes over the bodies. I cannot stress enough how much this picture, in all of its incompleteness, is to me perfect. And it has something intrinsic to it that reproductions of it don't have. It has soul.

Over the years I have toyed with the idea of buying a reproduction, perhaps in the form of a fridge magnet or even possibly a full sized authorised copy where even the paper it's produced on is a perfect copy of the original. Each time I've thought about buying one and hanging it in my home, somewhere I can see it every day, I've shied away after coming to the conclusion that a copy isn't good enough. So I keep my special picture in the National Gallery and if I need to see it then I walk ten minutes down the road and gaze upon it for as long as I need. For no charge.

I know art is a subjective matter, it can't be anything but, however it does surprise me when I sit absorbed in the Leonardo perhaps, or sitting in an auditorium watching a play, how different people are impacted in different ways by the same thing. At the National Gallery I see many people glance at paintings and obviously not "get" them. The same way as when everyone else around you in a theatre is killing themselves with laughter whilst you would really rather kill yourself rather than have to endure more of this particular theatrical torture. The reverse is also true of course and I'm as guilty of loving plays and films that almost everyone else regards as being pure trash. But I don't care. If it moves me, if it entertains me, even better if it challenges me whilst entertaining and moving me, then it's Art. And Art is good.

Topics for discussion

As some of you may well be aware I've been somewhat lax in keeping this blog up to date with new, pithy, insightful comments. Well that will now change.

I've asked on Twitter and will ask again here for what it is you want me to cover about the world of acting.

So far I've been asked to discuss why it is that Art is important and also how to create a firm sense of place when you're on stage or in the audition room.

I was debating going in to detail about recent productions I've seen and what works, and what doesn't, and thought that might just become a rehash of the reviews I write for Remote Goat and also now for Bargain Theatre so came to the conclusion that doing that wouldn't make for good reading. So, I think, to mark my return to the bloggersphere I will tackle the big one. Why is Art important?

But I'm not going to tackle it right away because I'm hungry and it's lunchtime. So this post serves as an introduction to what will follow... and also as a question about things you'd like to see me tackle. Let your minds run free. Mine frequently does, hence the three pages of a one man show about a gay vampire that are currently sitting on my desktop asking for attention... More about that later I think. Until then, happy lunchtime!

New Year reflections - kinda

So it's 5th January 2012 and so long 2011. You were a right pain in the arse at times and yet at others you seduced me with your softly spoken voice and your puppy dog eyes. Still, you're last year so no point dwelling on what I didn't manage to achieve now that 2012 is here and there's loads that I want to do with my future. And that doesn't include dwelling on the past. However 2011 does deserve a quick glance over and the time it takes to reflect a little.

Due to a number of personal factors, mainly featuring a huge amount of building work going on at home that meant that I was unable to dwell in my chosen dwelling place for month after month, I will own up to saying that I allowed myself to become distracted from acting. And from theatre also.

Casting my mind back I had though that the larger part of 2011 had been consigned, with the rubble, into the Skip of Lost Chances, but when I stop and think about what I managed to do in 2011 I realise that I am being unfair and am guilty of allowing a small period of upset to tarnish a good year.

I'm not going to bore you all with the details but suffice to say I made some superb contacts last year and I got recalls for some really rather scarily big league producers. OK so I didn't land any of those roles but I learnt loads. For example I learnt that it's not always wise to say that you "weren't impressed with a script and that you thought it might run in the provinces but no London audience would ever come and see it" even when it was truly terrible. It's better to say "Great script! Love it! Love it! LOVE IT!" and then just be busy if they want to cast you.

For the record I learnt those two gems from a friend who spent most of November and December wondering why he hadn't had a recall for that particular project. One day he'll learn. Perhaps.

Should I stay or should I go?

Hunting around for a topic to write about is sometimes easy and sometimes not. A bit like Life really. Especially when that life belongs to an actor.

So, being a generous soul, and not being able to think of something to write myself, I donned the cloak of generousity and asked the Twittersphere what topic(s) they would like me to write about on here.

After strenuously examining the vast number of reply I had (thanks Rhonda! Glad to know someone reads this!) I thought I would deal with the most popular topic that cropped up. Once.

The single reply to my offer read as follows:

How about a piece dealing with Office Politics during a project? Possibly emphasizing (she's American so she's allowed to spell like that) how to handle your work when the project is a kind of disaster and everybody is grumbling and complaining.

When do you leave?

How do you make that decision?

Why should you stay?

OK, how do you deal with office politics in a production, which doesn't have an "office" but a rehearsal room which can be fraught and tense, and exhausting. And then shifts to a stage which can be a whole myriad of things all at once?

When all about you moan and whinge what do you do? What do I do?

I'm always honest here and I've no reason to change that. Also I only ever write about my own experiences as that it what I have to draw on in my life and it's that life that, at times, has meant I've had to deal with awkward decisions. But as to how you deal with office politics in a production there is one rule. And for me it's an absolute. And that rule is don't get drawn in to petty political squabbles in a production.

It's fine to offer an opinion when it's requested by the director, or even when another actor asks for help but avoid at all costs getting into the You're Right/Wrong type of arguments where you have to take sides. Be diplomatic.

Says I. Who in one of the first productions I was found myself in a nonsense of a production. A director without a clear vision. Without the ability to explain to the cast and crew the essence of his vision without saying "It's all in my head. I'll know when it's right".

This same director regularly would turn up late, sometimes by as much as 3 hours or more, to a 6 hour rehearsal. And then he would explode at the cast and crew for not being "on it" immediately when he arrived. He would undercut the choreographer at every opportunity, mainly by listening to what they said, watching what they'd got us doing and then saying "that's not right. It needs to be like this...." and proceeding to rechoreograph entire routines. He would, and did, arrive in the wings two minutes before curtain up and hand a cast member a prop whilst saying helpfully "this will help your character be real" before they walked on to a stage to do a song and dance routine. Now carrying a brand new, unrehearsed, unrequired, unwarranted prop.

But that was the actual production.

Back in rehearsal cast were regularly kept waiting, as I said for hours on end, by the director who would then break every 20 mins for a smoke and a coffee and wouldn't allow us more than 15 minutes for lunch.

One cast member, a good friend of mine, left and the following day (8 days before opening night) the director arrived, about 2 hours late, and I should add the director had the only key to the rehearsal space, and gathered everyone together to publically attack the now absent cast member. Who, it must be pointed out, had left because he couldn't cope with the utter disregard the director had for the company.

I had spoken to a teacher of mine about the situation and she gave me sage advice which I still go back to today. I said to her that I was tempted to walk. She said if you've signed a contract, or even if you haven't you never walk. Be utterly businesslike and professional but never walk. Her advice dealing with the tardy director was as follows....

1. Explain why you are not happy. Clearly.
2. Set out some rules of conduct for the director.
3. And for the cast.
4. State the outcome if the director breaks the rules.
5. Be prepared to carry them out.

In this circumstance, the discontent was because the cast were regularly hanging around outside the rehearsal room for a minimum of 20 mins and a max of perhaps 150 minutes. We had no warm up time. No structured lunch breaks. No structured end times.

To deal with this it was suggested that the rehearsal rooms were open 30-45 mins before our rehearsal call times, thus allowing people to warm up ready to go for the start of the rehearsal.

Also that the director had to be there by the call time for the rehearsal. If he wasn't, I said I would wait twenty minutes and then go home as I could work better there by myself than waste time waiting for him to arrive.

Oh and we had a known schedule for breaks and for lunch. Of course we weren't going to walk out when the clock hit lunchtime if we were in the middle of something but everyone knew that about 1pm we would break for one hour for lunch. And at 11am and 3pm we would break for refreshments/smoke etc.

That way everyone knew what the rules were. From that day on the rehearsal room was open everyday 30 mins prior to the call time. The director was never late. We all had rest and felt able to go on. If someone hadn't made a stand we would have all been utterly exhausted and probably been injured during the run itself.

It's not that this is strictly to do with office politics but there is something important here and that's that although the relationship between Director and Cast can at times be fraught, and at others beautiful to behold, everyone in a company has a job to do. Just because someone has a bigger title than Actor does not mean that they can ignore the feelings and sensibilities of the cast. Nor should the cast be prepared to lay down some simple, professional, rules of conduct.

This was a Fringe production but that is not the point. Assuming that because a budget is small the process would automatically be "difficult" is wrong. I've had the utter delight of working with gifted, visionary directors on Fringe productions with minisucule budgets who never failed to show their cast utmost respect and never once allowed their professionalism to be compromised by budget restraints.

Everybody pays to be in a production. Producers pay money and stress. Cast pays in blood, sweat and tears. But when everyone treats all the others involved with respect it's amazing how much more fun it is. And how much better the final result is.

So, young actors out there, don't be scared of saying if you think something, or someone, anyone, in a position of responsibility in a Company is out of order. On the big issues obviously. Don't waste time over the small stuff. But remember it's not your job to undermine the director. It's about being professional at all times and expecting the same of all others.

That's Entertainment - Barons' Court Theatre

"That's Entertainment most definitely entertains!" by Colin Appleby for remotegoat on 25/10/11 0

This double bill of one act plays, penned by the obviously talented Phil Preece, premiered at the Garrick Theatre in 2009 before embarking on a tour of the UK last year and returns to London for one night only.

The first piece, Mr Bluesky, ably directed by Paul Findlay who co-stars in the second piece himself, examines the life, lifestyle and losses accrued by one Vince Meager an aging rocker long past his prime and still touring playing his big hits from the 60s to his adoring, and shrinking, fan base. Driven by his self belief, and in part his loneliness, he invites a young lady back to his dressing room and it becomes apparent quickly that all is not what it seems as the two discover a past that may, or may not, have more in common than meets the eye.

Vince Meager is played by Steve Dolton and Kirsty, the female guest in the dressing room by Kelly Ward.

As a one act play the piece is entertaining and leaves you asking questions about the motives behind the actions of both characters. I don't wish to detract from the piece but as good as it is, it is very much the support act to what follows.

After a brief interval, the lights go up on That's Entertainment, where we are introduced to a couple of national TV stars at the top of their game. Set backstage at an awards night where the duo have been honoured with a glittering trophy the duo, The Jolee Boys, examine their careers and debated rather heatedly if perhaps they have sold out in order to cash in.

The script, in common with that of Mr Bluesky, reveals that all is not rosy in this particular garden. Joe, played by Paul Findlay, is at great pains to return to what he sees as his comedy roots but his entertainment partner Lee, played by Steven Humpherson, is happy to down champagne and snort line after line of cocaine and ride this gravy train for as long as he can.

The differences provide scope for both Findlay and Humpherson to let rip with their characters as they go from reminiscing about their first steps onto a stage as shepherds in a "navatity" play at school, to realising what is going on and what they each have to do in order to survive.

The play could easily handle being expanded in to a two act drama, or comedy, and works exceptionally well in the confined space of the Barons Court Theatre as the limited space adds to the pressure of both pieces. There is no easy escape for any of the four characters in these two pieces, nor would the audience desire one for them. Or for themselves.

Steven Humpherson perfectly captures the essence of coke addicted, almost alcoholic, light entertainment star and has what can only be described as phenomenal stage presence.

To say that he is perfectly matched by Paul Findlay is an understatement. These two actors have an obvious and easy camaraderie on stage which enables the exceptionally quick fire lines and the sharp retorts to come as if directly from the spleen. Every word and gesture is well aimed, well timed and delivered nigh on perfectly.

Talking of understatement it's not an understatement to say that both Findlay and Humpherson are destined for much greater things if this performance is to be believed. Far from waning I would say their personal stars are very much in the ascendency.

I do not know where this double bill is playing next but I will say hunt it down and see it. That's Entertainment is certainly what I call entertainment.

Last Days of the Commune - White Bear

"Witness a truly revolutionary event" by Colin Appleby for remotegoat on 20/10/11 3

Presented by the suitably named Gunpowder Theatre Company, at the little gem of an oddity that is the White Bear Theatre Pub, is the absolute delight that is this production of Bertolt Brecht's The Days of the Commune.

The play, set in 1871, tracks the rise and fall of the Paris Commune in a semi-documentary style where the main character is the Commune and the streets of Paris themselves rather than any of the 60 or so characters who spend time on the tiny stage exploring the pressures of material hardship, class antagonisms, and the struggle of leading a city of 2 million people when you have no experience of rule and when the ruling classes, and the media, decide that your revolution is nothing other than mob rule.

The stage, as I mentioned, is tiny. And yet the sense of space achieved is phenomenal. As are the cast. Fifteen actors portray 60 odd characters and the play even features a full size cannon.

Having sat with my thoughts for a while about the play I am still unable to find anything more to say other than it's a remarkably strong ensemble brought together under the bold, and obviously talented, directorial wing of Genevieve Girling to make a piece of theatre which well deserves the critical acclaim it's getting in the press and well deserves being seen.

Struggling as I am to pull out a single performance as the truly stand out one of the evening, because the ensemble gathered here is so uniformly strong, I do feel that the vastly experienced Gary Heron brings a touch of vulnerability to his rough stock proletarian Papa Goule that adds a gentle side to what could otherwise be a tough character to warm to.

Worth highlighting amongst the remaining cast are Steve Wickenden who demonstrates a mastery of comic timing and delivers both his lines, and his non-verbal interjections, precisely and perfectly placed never ceasing to hit the mark without veering over into pantomime. And Rupert Ratcliffe, playing Pierre Langevin a member of the elected committee of the Paris Commune, continues to display the stage presence and talent that marked him out as someone to watch in the recent production of A Midsummer Night's Dream at the New Diorama and I am looking forward to watching him in Don Carlos at the Blue Elephant.

I am at pains to state that all of the cast rise the the difficult challenges that this play, and this production, set them. And they rise to them triumphantly.

Hang of the Gaol - Brockley Jack

"Cool Prison Drama Beats Luke" by Colin Appleby for remotegoat on 01/10/11 8

I know that I have mentioned in other reviews the perils of being a reviewer and an actor are manifest. Think about the dilemma one faces when reviewing a play featuring a cast you don't like, and a script you find impenetrable. Or even worse one where the actors work their socks off and the script shines with brilliance that the director has managed to remove all trace of.

Now take that peril and factor in the added risk of a cast populated with people I've either worked with in the past or people I've trained with. Mix them up with a venue I adore and a playwright I have a huge admiration for and the risks are increased. So great they are that I usually eschew the job of reviewing shows that are such large potential minefields. However on this occasion I grasped the job in hand by the horns and was rewarded with that warm glow that I get when I see a cast cope with a very wordy and dense script and bring it to life with charm, pace, and wit.

The play is one of Howard Barkers most successful plays and here it is performed in a remodeled Brockley Jack Theatre that is used to great effect to recreate the interior of Middenhurst Gaol. Now reduced to burning embers the ensuing inquiry tasked with establishing the facts behind the fire uncovers layer upon layer of deceit.

As the inquiry, led by the sexually rapacious civil servant Jardine, played brilliantly by Alan Thorpe, squares up to the establishment figures, who have a myriad of agendas that are slowly revealed, the demands made of the cast increase. And they largely meet that task ably.

I do not wish to give away any of the plot twists and turns here but there are delightful scenes and electric performances scattered through this production.

Julian Bird excels as the incumbent Home Secretary and displays almost as perfect a sense of comic timing as Darren Benedict, who brings a brilliance and lightness to his role as one half of a fantastical fire investigation team. Maggie-Anne Lowe, Anne-Marie Hughes and the exceptional Matthew Eaton provide the other cast highlights.

I should add that this wordy, dense, difficult play, showing in this charming, somewhat out of the way theatre was the second play I had seen this day. The other was a still in preview star vehicle in the West End. It was Cool Hand Luke. I may review that debacle but in direct comparison this was far more entertaining and far better acted.

Cool Hand Luke costs £50 a seat in the stalls. The Hang of the Gaol costs £12. Save your pennies and see this. Actually maybe splash out on a meal in the Brockley Jack pub before heading in to the see the play. You'll have a much better evening than you would seeing Cool Hand Luke.

Thick - New Diorama

Thick Outstanding performances from all" by Colin Appleby for remotegoat on 16/09/11 5

This was my first visit to the New Diorama Theatre, which is tucked away in the middle of a development of office buildings just north of Tottenham Court Road and what a delightful introduction to the space Thick turned out to be.

I know that as a review I should not allow the other things I have recently seen to influence my prejudging of a new piece. But, I'm human and I make no apology for coming to Thick with a slightly downbeat heart after the less than perfect production I had seen the previous evening. I own up to sitting in my comfy seat, in the intimate space that is the New Diorama, and being disheartened by the naive set design and the slightly downbeat music played whilst the audience wandered in.

Within moments of this black comedy starting however I perked up no end. Largely due to the stellar performances by the cast of four talented actors, led by Rick Bland (who is anything but) and supported by Gary Fannin, Barbara Barnes and the incredibly talented Genevieve Adam.

The tale is a journey of one man, Rudolph, an idiot savant (Rick Bland), to a funeral and is a complex and deft weave of flashbacks and memories featuring a plentiful supply of non-alcoholic gin, the shoe saleswoman from Hell, a man who lives only for his lawn and a further 9 characters including Pope John Paul II.

Only Bland does not have to play multiple roles but as he never leaves the stage during this 90 minute bravura performance (no interval) to ask more of one actor would be utterly unfair.

All in all this is a surprising, charming, intelligent, witty and at times seriously laugh out loud, emotionally moving piece of theatre which well deserves an audience so go and see it!

I Love You, You're Perfect. Now Change

On Tuesday 13th September I had the pleasure of attending the Press Night of Maple Giant Theatre's production of the multi-award winning, and internationally staged show I Love You You're Perfect* Now Change in order to review it for this website. 

A show that garnered such a huge amount of critical acclaim obviously raises the expectation of what you are going to see, and factoring that with the delight of seeing something at the Bridewell Theatre, and something featuring someone I had the pleasure of training with, all served to perhaps raise my expectations unfairly to the level where they couldn't be anything but not entirely met. 

The show, more a musical review than a traditional show, charts the ups and downs of the world of Romance. It strives to portray the truths and the myths behind relationships and with a handful of deceptively simple sounding melodies interspersed with some accomplished harmonies from the company.

The cast was missing Tonia Szkurhan, due to illness, and her role was shared by other members of the cast. Most notably by the director and actor Amy Cooke-Hodgson who rose to the challenge of stepping in at short notice with a remarkable level of calm and confidence matched seamlessly by her phenomenal vocal skill. 

Out of the remaining ensemble, the stand out performance has to be that of JJ Criss who manages to switch from slimy lawyer type to tender loving father and a variety of other characters with charm and a vocal dexterity that I quite happily covet. Although a musical theatre actor, and lead singer for rock group Stamina, he manages to convey absolute faith and honesty with every word he sings. 

I think I would have preferred the show more if the venue had been more intimate as sometimes the performers seemed a little lost in the large space they occupy here, but it's well worth seeing, for JJ Criss and Amy Cooke-Hodgson especially, and also for Jamie Scott-Smith's brilliant take on geriatric tap dancing (which I'd like to see more of, perhaps in a spin-off show of his own).

Lives and loves of a Reviewer Pt 1

As some of you know I write reviews for Remote Goat... bravely I do so under my own name.

I just thought I would share some of the things I've seen recently so you can see for yourselves it's not all champagne and starlight in the world of the reviewer!

I know it's lazy blogging but I thought it might be interesting to see if any of you have seen the same things and if you agree or disagree. Or just want to comment at all!

So the next few posts will be reviews of shows I've seen... in the order that I have experienced them. Of course I have blogged about some of them previously and you'll be able to figure out which ones I've referred to elsewhere in the blog yourselves I would imagine because you're an intelligent lot!

It isn't just what you do on stage

Yesterday I went to see the work of an up and coming theatre company who are striving to reinvent the Rep Company for the 21st Century. They strive to provide a year long training program built around the experience of putting on three full scale professional productions throughout the year.

After the experience of yesterday I would still say that these are lofty ambitions and deserve support, however this is a business not a fairytale adventure and sometimes businesses need to be tough in order to teach people valuable lessons.

It was apparent from watching the assorted cast of some 17 young people of varied talent get to grips with the reworking of this classic Greek tale of lust, revenge and death, that some of the basics need to be attended to urgently.

There really is scant point in staging a full scale professional production when the cast are in obvious need of speech lessons. There is no point putting on what is ostensibly a college production and calling it professional.

Perhaps equally importantly the actors should all have drummed into them the importance of an online presence. I was trying to write up my review of this particular play this morning when I realised that my task was made much more difficult than usual due to the utter lack of photos and biogs in the literature handed out at the theatre. It could not be too arduous a task to have a couple of pages with just a headshot and the name of the actor next to it could it? I'd think not. But nevermind, I thought, I'll turn to Google and will go through the names listed and call up the relevant Spotlight or Casting Call Pro pages for the actors concerned.

I think my biggest shock wasn't that most of the cast are not listed on either site (as far as I, with the help of Google, could ascertain) but more that the few who were listed had not bothered to update their online resumes in quite a while. In one case that "while" equates to five years. None of the actors listed the current production.

Wearing one of my other hats, this time as Director, I constantly look out for actors who get added to my list of people I would want to work with in the future, or at least see how they develop over the next few years, but none of those on stage made that list yesterday purely because of the lack of ability to identify them.

Even a wall of headshots in the theatre would have helped!

I would hope that young actors, and those just starting out in their careers who may have a few years of Life on their side, would realise that most casting these days is done online initially. And that in order to improve their chances of getting roles, of actually just getting seen, then their online presence is just as essential as their technical knowledge.

Getting my claws in to making plans

I've been thinking what it is about Humankind that makes us put self generated hurdles in the way of our own success.

Something has caused me to think that, although I subscribe to the view that when we're ready for something the Universe will present it to us, sometimes when the Universe thinks we're ready we are all to quick to disagree.

Perhaps it's not the fear that we will fail but the fear that we will be successful that holds us back from trying new things until we're absolutely ready for the trials and tribulations (as well as the joys) that new experiences will bring.

Personally I'm a little guilty of, until recently, ruled out the prospect of even entertaining the idea of going on an extended theatrical tour. I've not actually said as much and I've even gladly thrown myself into the audition process for some high profile tours, but somewhere in the back of my mind has been the creeping, gnawing worry that God knows what I would do if I'd ever been lucky enough to be cast in one of them.

Being the human keeper of two cats I had, I thought, planned for the eventuality of going on tour in so much as I had lined up a variety of friends who had kindly agreed to either take the cats in as house guests or, perhaps with less disruption to themselves and the feline fellows, spend a lot of time at my home and care for the kitties there. In situ. However it's become obvious to me that this was not preparation. This was me creating an obstacle.

My thinking runs thus...

Brilliant tour job comes along:
I ace the audition naturally, and am perfect for the role;
I accept the job;
Then approach the cat keepers of choice and ask if it's all ok that they do indeed look after the furry critters.

That train of action can only have one of two outcomes. They either say Yes. Or No.

Previously I had convinced myself that I would ALWAYS be able to find someone to look after the cats and therefore I would never find myself in a position where their welfare would impact my working as an actor. It really was a wake up call this week when I realised that there are in fact people who are highly skilled in looking after cats when their owners are out of town. They are called catteries.

Now in order for me to square the whole process of putting my beloved boys in to what I at times have called a "Cat Prison" means I have to have a seismic shift in my thinking. About catteries, about what it is to "care" and about my job as an actor.

The only person responsible for my furthering my career is me. I enlist people I trust and value to help me along the way. People who I learn from (either formally like a brilliant singing teacher) or informally such as the person I see when I look in the mirror...

I know that this post is largely about cats, but if you've seen Jasper and Peluche you'd know they're not just "ordinary" cats! Still, the process of making them ready to be put in a cattery if necessary, and of making my brain accept that this is the right decision as it frees me up to do something I love, work, without punishing them as I had first thought, is a long and convoluted one. I have searched using the power of Google and have found a number of local catteries on the outskirts of London. I will go and visit any that take my fancy and I will try to determine their suitability to care for my precious pussycats.

Although I am not planning on putting them in a cattery in the immediate future, and I know that I will shed a tear when I do so for the first time, I have to be ready so that when that offer of a 3 month tour on Broadway materialises (or more realistically a 3 week tour of rural Wales) I am ready and have few obstacles in my path that I have not thought about and resolved.

This business is a business and like all businesses planning is key. The old adage "Fail to plan, plan to fail" comes to mind here. But in this case it's not that I am guilty of failing to plan it is just that my plans were unrealistic and unworkable. Who am I to build my career paths on the need to have others there to give me help when, if, I need it. I am me. I am responsible for me. And mine. And my career. And I won't martyr it on the alter of long held misconceptions or unrealistic expectations of others.


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Of course if people have experience of housing their pets in a London or Home Counties cattery then please feel free to recommend or warn in the comments section!

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Two months, or thereabouts, has past since my last post here. Almost two months, two months that has seen me face some huge personal challenges. Some I shall over come, some shall scar my soul forever.

The biggest scar will be that inflicted on me last week by a seemingly kind soul giving me a comp ticket to go and see the stage adaptation of Cool Hand Luke.

If you want to explore my feelings on that tepid production then read my review of The Hang of the Gaol at Brockley Jack which I was fortunate enough to see an hour after escaping the cold hand of Luke.

Now I know that this has been a short post, mainly because I've got a stinker of a cold, but it was really only designed to get me blogging again... and blog again I shall because I've got opinions World!

I may touch on how the government has "found" money to pay local councils to have weekly bin collections but had to slash that money from the Arts budget as it was "pointless". My thoughts and writing may well segue into how I adore the restorative nature of Nature, and my newly rediscovered joy of meat and two veg. They may. Then again they may well feature the agonies of finding a new singing teacher, balancing my budget, attempting to stay motivated when Life, and builders, throw gargantuan spanners into the works and the joys of helping a casting director find guys capable of playing roles described as "attractive and muscular".

Studio 2 - Somewhere

I'm currently part way through rehearsals for a drama pilot for the BBC. A studio drama pilot.

What's so special about that I hear you ask. Well if you consider that it's the first studio drama to be filmed at BBC TV Centre since 1996 then I think it's something of note.

Walking around TV Centre (TVC) it's clear that studio facilities are not being utilised. A senior producer today said that the "studio was restricting for writers" and suggested that having to contain action to a minimum number of sets was a restriction many writers would not want.

So instead of producing studio dramas of note the BBC use the gem that is TVC to churn out light entertainment shows that chase ratings. It's a public service broadcaster who has the luxury of being given a few billion quid a year to produce output. Surely some of that cash can be used to make studio drama that's relevant to today.

I've been told stories of every studio being full all day, every day. I've also been told that the BBC now directly employ only two cameramen. The rest are freelance. That being the case where is the apprentice structure for the technicians to learn their craft? It used to be in Wood Lane but now it's gone. Perhaps the view, also espoused today by a BBC Exec that they can "no longer compete" in the realms of producing drama has led to a culture where the first though is negative when it comes to producing quality studio drama. The second is, the Americans do it well so let's just buy some in.

The BBC is a public funded, public service broadcaster. How is it in the public service to not produce quality dramas at home? In studios they own. How can it be in the public interest not to nurture new talent both in front of and behind the camera?

That would lead to us exporting talent and finish products. That's not a bad aim for a public service broadcaster to have somewhere is it?

Hold on tight. You're in for a bumpy ride.

I've been asked to post a few words of wisdom about this business aimed towards the younger, recently graduated, actor. So here they are:

1. You're lucky to be entering one of the most fun professions in the world.

2. You're unlucky to be entering one of the most frustrating professions in the world.

3. No matter how prepared you think you are for an audition/meeting/first day on set, trust me, you're not.

4. Never forget that this is a business.

5. This business is the acting business. It is not the Star & Fame business.


I don't mean to put people off becoming actors at all, because it's something that is exciting, vital, challenging and fun all at the same time and it means that I've been lucky enough to meet some remarkable people. And I hope to meet many more.

Talking to a lot of younger actors recently has made me aware that a large number of them seem reluctant to remember that this is a business. For example I was at BAFTA on Saturday just past and it was only the younger actors present who were embarrassed about having business cards and seemingly mortified at the prospect of handing them out.

Acting is a business. You are promoting yourself all the time. Every time you walk into an audition or casting, every time you are in rehearsals, on set, at a screening, a party, you are still an actor looking for his next job. Though if people think you're constantly looking to see what they can do for you then you'll get nowhere fast.

Networking, and that's what I'm talking about here, is much more about what you can do for them. Help other people make connections. Put investors and producers together. Listen out for castings that aren't for you and suggest actors for the roles. Either directly to the casting director or producer if you can or failing that then make sure that the casting is brought to the attention of the actor concerned. If you hear of a friend going in to see a casting director and you know something that may help, tell the friend. For example I know of a powerful casting director in London who seems to have a pathological dislike to coffee. And perfume. So, if you're called into see them, never wear perfume or aftershave, and if they offer you a drink, don't ask for coffee. Yes I know it's seemingly ridiculous but it's sometimes the small things that matter.

Talking of small things I turn now to business cards. Ah the minefield that is the Business Card. A few tips:

1. Don't skimp on the paper quality;

2. Have a picture (of you) on the card;

3. Put your professional name;

4. Remember your business card is public domain so think about phone numbers, email etc.

I know that some of the above seems counter intuitive but I shall explain. The paper quality, and size of the card itself, varies hugely. I've come unstuck using a very popular online card printing company whose paper stock just isn't as good as it could be. And they have non-standard card sizes which look odd. And cheap.

Why is this important? Well your business card is, literally, your calling card. If it's cheap and nasty then it doesn't suggest that you take yourself seriously as an actor. Likewise your headshot. Get a proper one done by a decent photographer who specialises in taking actors headshots. They are not the same as fashion or family portraits. And you find out who's good by asking around.

Make sure that your card has your headshot on it somewhere. When your card inevitably comes adrift from your hardcopy CV or headshot in the office of that powerful producer or casting director they'll still know exactly who you are if it's got your picture on it.

The public domain/safety issue is one that I've only just taken on board myself. My first few batches of cards listed my personal email and mobile phone number as well as those of my agent. Now I don't. I just list my name, my agent details and my spotlight number. It's enough. If any professional wants to find me they can with that information. I've already got the proofs in for the next batch and they just list my professional name and Spotlight number and nothing else though. Not even a picture. And yes I know that is a risk, and runs counter to my previous point but I'm convinced that if you think you're good enough then they will take the time to look and if they want you then they'll contact you.

Oh, about agents now. I can't tell you how many times I hear young actors lament that they haven't got an agent. How, if only they did, they'd have auditions for the Donmar/Royal Court/National Theatre/Next Big Thing on TV etc... I'm guessing that these actors think the agent's job is to get them work. Well here's a shock to the system but it really isn't the agent's job to get an actor work.

The agent, your agent, has a role which certainly touches on getting you work but that responsibility is yours alone. His (or hers) is to act as an intermediary in contract negotiations and to try to get you the best contract possible. Of course any agent worth his salt is going to be suggesting you to producers, casting directors etc and getting doors open for you, but it's your job to get the work. And to get the work you can't go easy on continuing the training that you get.

Even during the lean times, for there will be lean times, in fact especially during the lean times, do courses and classes to remain fresh. Every chance you have to sharpen your acting skills take it. Add accents to the mix. Learn a foreign language, a musical instrument, how to ride a horse, a motorbike. Something. Anything. Just learn. Widen your life experience, travel. Meet people. Talk to them but more importantly sit and listen to them. Observe. It's only by observing the minutiae of real people going about real life that we can hope to be real ourselves when we're a character.

Forgive my rambling thoughts this morning but I want to return to the agent topic a moment longer. I like, genuinely like, my agent. I enjoy being in their company. I like the sense of family that the actors on their books have. It's a big mutual support network and some of them have very rapidly become friends. I don't understand how an actor can work with an agent who they don't like, or even as someone mentioned last week, that they are scared of. The agent needs you to go out and earn or else they earn nothing. You need the agent to open doors, put you up for jobs and to negotiate contract terms for you so you both need the other. Such business relationships should be built on trust, equality, honesty. And of course it helps immensely if you actually do, genuinely, like each other.

Final two thoughts, when one job ends every actor thinks that they'll never work again so you're really not alone with that thought. And final, final thought, even with the business side, the endless rejection, the terrible pay, the doubt, worry, anxiety, etc it's still huge fun! Plays are called PLAYs. So do precisely that. Play and have fun. But hold on tight as you're definitely going to have a bumpy ride!

Rest assured

I want to assure you all that Actorvist will not become just another theatre review blog as some of you fear.

I am however going to share those reviews on here that I write elsewhere when I feel that there's something worth seeing (or avoiding) and hope to bring it to a wider audience by including it here.

Normal service will be resumed later today though with a blog about how my confidence gets sky-high after a random piece of good news or the promise of a decent carrot being dangled in front of me just slightly out of reach but close enough to be able to taste it only to have it come crashing down again when that hoped for phone call doesn't materialise. How I console myself with Burts Chips or some other delicious piece of comfort food! And don't get me started on the thoughts that run through my head when I see a huge long list of submissions from my agent and wonder why only a few people wanted to see me!

Now I'm off for little corporate role play so adieu!

Review: "Mr Happiness" & "The Water Engine" - Screening Room - Old Vic Tunnels

This double bill of David Mamet radio plays, translated here to the stage by the combination of a remarkable, atmospheric setting, an ensemble cast of extraordinary strength, versatility and talent, the clear directorial vision of director Kate McGregor and brought to life by the designs of Amy-Jane Cook (Water Engine) and Carla Goodman (Mr Happiness) has to be the current must see piece of theatre in London.

The only problem I have in reviewing this is deciding how to single out specific actors without making it seem like the ensemble is not the key here. Because it really is. They are the lifeblood, the sounds, the souls of what we cannot hope to have brought to life on this, or any, stage.

Mamet wrote these plays with 40 voices and 60 characters so there are few places and fewer companies that could tackle a cast like that without some imagination. And imagination is what you see on display here. From the way the sound effects are made live on stage to the way the images in the the head of Mr Happiness are brought to life it all just "works" like a well oiled machine.

Notwithstanding the strong ensemble there are a few stand out performances. David Burt, who manages to hold the audience in the palm of his hand both as the eponymous Mr Happiness, and also as Mr Oberman in The Water Engine has to be lauded for his performance in Mr Happiness. I have not seen an actor handle a monologue in such an enthralling manner in a long time. A delight to watch.

Other notable performances include Jamie Treacher who plays Charles Lang with an innocence and vulnerability and a palpable sense of hope that you can't help but empathise with when Life, and people, conspire against him. And for me the other most notable performance goes to Lee Drage for his Bernie who I found utterly engaging to watch on stage.

I realise that I've not "reviewed" this piece so much and I've more implored you to go and see it, well I don't want to tell you what happens in either of the two plays and I don't want to spoil the visual delight either. So trust me, if you like brave, bold, utterly entertaining theatre then go and see it. And yes, the theatre is tricky to find but hunt it down because what Theatre6 and MokitaGrit have produced here is an inventive, vital piece of theatre that deserves to be seen. So go and see it.

A one star review

A Big Day for the Goldbergs 
New End Theatre, Hampstead.


As an actor and sometime director myself, I fear writing an official review for something that I take a strong dislike to. Why? Well I don't want to annoy directors, Olivia Rowe in this case, or fellow actors when I come away disappointed from an evening at the theatre when it's obvious that they've tried to make the best of a bad lot. But it's my role to review, so review I must. 

To quote from the press release for this play "North London's special home to Jewish theatre announces this light-hearted slice of modern provincial life starring the Archers' Amy Shindler." 

That name is the only saving grace in this production. I would have wished that this was a one woman show and that woman was Amy Shindler.

It seems, again from reading the press release, that this is a reworking of the "knockout" version of this play which premiered in 2010. The play examines the lives and relationships of the female members of the Goldberg family of Leeds.

The writer, Brian Daniels, has taken what was a two person production mainly constructed of monologues about their own lives and their relationship with their mother and has enlarged the role of the mother as a "nod towards the tough decisions that come with parenthood, middle-age and imminent divorce". Well in the mind of this provincial Jewish man he shouldn't have bothered. 

The sisters Goldberg, played by the rather engaging Brenda Tucker, sorry I mean Amy Shindler, and the somewhat entertaining Suzanne Goldberg, manage to make the best of a cliche laden script beset by the presence of the "Mother" character. I couldn't help but wonder how much more entertaining this evening would have been had it not been for the somewhat arboreal nature of Jane Hayward as the mother. 

I'm not going to give away any of the plot details here as really there are that many to give away. 

Is it worth seeing? Well if you've nothing else to do and find yourself in Hampstead and you're a fan of the Archers and want to see what Brenda looks like and sounds like in real life then yes, go for it. If however you like better constructed, more challenging, more entertaining theatre then spend your money elsewhere.

Sometimes we're faced with tough choices and I've had one to deal with this week already.

I write reviews for Remote Goat mainly so that I can get to see a lot of theatre for very little cost, but sometimes I wonder what that cost might actually be.

I'm not talking about my sanity here, but what I'm talking about is that I have to review what I experience and I can't help but wonder if posting a negative review, or even one with negative comments in an overall positive experience might prejudice future producers, directors and actor colleagues against working with me?

I know it shouldn't do so and that they should respect that I'm doing a job and would expect reviewers, even those who are friends, to review any production that I am in, and any performance that I give on stage or immortalise on film, an accurate and fair review. But there's a little tiny nagging voice of doubt at the back of my head that makes me hover long and hard in thought before hitting the "Submit Review" button when I've got copy waiting to go.

Where I have no hesitation at all in writing about poor performance are those times when a restaurant or private members club like Shoreditch House for example, or a retail outlet like Orange fall woefully short on service.

Picture the scene at Shoreditch House at Monday lunchtime. A smattering of people on the sun loungers pool side, the single swimmer in the pool calmly swimming lengths, perhaps ten members in the restaurant/bar indoors and a large number of staff who dutifully ignore members. I was there with a friend who is a long standing member and even they commented that the service on a Monday is "usually" a little slow but that waiting for almost an hour for drinks to arrive was taking the pee somewhat. There was even a staff member seemingly more interested in watering the plants, by hand with what appeared to be a jug of ice, than he was in taking beverage and food orders. I am fully aware that I now sound like a spoilt little thesp but I wouldn't have expected to wait for an hour to order drinks. This is in a venue that prides itself on service and style. Really? Still, I have to say I'd happily return and laze by the pool even if you have to wait hours for service just because the view of the City from that rooftop is magical.

And now to Orange. Let's set the scene... about 9 months ago I bought a Blackberry Curve 8520 on payg because, as an actor and writer it is important for me to have access to email and the web wherever I happen to be and also as an actor it's important to know what my monthly outgoings are. So far so simple...

After a period of weeks the phone started to slow up, lock up at times, do weird things like not recognise any of the music tracks that I'd synch'd to it via Blackberry Desktop. Eventually, after about 8 months of slowly deteriorating service on the phone I took it back to my local Orange shop. Which just so happens to be the one that I bought it from too. I explained that the phone was locking up, dropping wi-fi, generally misbehaving to the point where it would need rebooting a couple of times a day.

I was delighted to receive stunningly seemless customer service in store as the assistant agreed that what was wrong with my Blackberry was not acceptable. She also mentioned that it was one of a number of "known" issues with the Curve 8520. I arranged delivery of replacement handset for the next day and thought "well done Orange! Brilliant service!".

The replacement handset arrives and all is good. For a week. One week. 7 little days.. Until the handset locks. Again. And again. At the end of the week the replacement handset was regularly dropping calls, not playing tunes stored on it, and a number of times an hour I would see something like (and I paraphrase here) Application rim_messaging not working or Application rim_phone not working... and, as had previously happened, if I received a phone call whilst I was texting or emailing someone then the phone would lock up, it wouldn't show me who was calling, just would freeze. After perhaps as long as five minutes it would suddenly spring to life and reveal that it had opened every single app on the phone. Although not being a technically minded person I knew that this was not right. So I returned with the handset to my local Orange shop once again but this time seeking a refund or credit note and the ability to upgrade my handset by paying more money.

I can't tell you how shocked I was when the assistant in the shop said that I can't do that and that I was "stupid" to think that I could. I asked her to call customer services and after much protestation about me being "difficult" she did. Only to then argue with customer services about whether or not they would let me spend money in their shop. After about 40 minutes or so I gave up and tried emailing customer services. No reply. I searched online forums and found the email to the Executive Office and thought they'd reply. Nothing. So then I resorted to Twitter. I found the name to of the guy who does PR for Orange and sent him an open tweet. He responded by asking someone else to get in touch. They have. I have an email address which I've forwarded everything to and now I'm waiting for their reply. They've said they'll sort it all today but I've very little faith now in anything that Orange, or its staff, say.

I'll reserve judgement before heading off to 3 though. And I'll keep you all updated but I will return to more acting type themes once this "issue" has been resolved.